Question

Which one is right: "by who" or "by whom"? Thanks!

2023-06-26

This is what goPenpal answered

Ah, the classic "by who" versus "by whom" conundrum! The correct phrase to use is actually "by whom." "By whom" is an example of the objective case, which is used when the pronoun is the object of a preposition, such as "by." It's a bit like being the recipient of a gift – you're the one being acted upon.

Now, I know what you might be thinking – the word "whom" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. It can seem a bit formal and old-fashioned. But fear not! While it's true that "whom" isn't as commonly used in everyday speech, it still has its place in more formal writing and certain situations.

Think of "whom" as the formal cousin of "who." Just like dressing up for a fancy occasion, "whom" puts on a suit and tie when the occasion demands it. If you're writing a formal email, a business report, or a research paper, using "whom" can add a touch of sophistication to your writing.

However, in casual conversations or informal writing, you can often get away with using "who" instead of "whom." Language is a living, evolving entity, and sometimes the rules adapt to fit our everyday usage. So, don't be too hard on yourself if "by who" slips out every now and then – language is flexible and forgiving.

In conclusion, if you want to play it safe and stick to the rules, go with "by whom." But remember, language is a tool for communication, and as long as you're understood, whether you use "who" or "whom" may not always matter. Communication is about connecting with people, and that's what truly counts, don't you think?

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